Autumn

The Little Things

This morning I made coffee in my grandmother's old percolator.  I say old, but she always kept things like they were new.  I treasure every little thing that I have of hers: old dish towels, dishes, a cheap little cake slicer, a nautical ash tray; all the little things she cherished and never knew I would, too.

 

Today I am grateful that:

• I mixed Kona and Ethopia.  Dark, bold, earthy, sweet. 
• I miss my grandmother sometimes.  I wish she could have met John.  I am grateful she knew Kristina.
• John and I played "which hand" yesterday.  He's holding up both fists and examining them now.  Yesterday, he held them up for me to see.  I decided to pick a hand.  He'd put it down as if to say, "nope, pick another."  I would and he'd put both back up for me to try again.  I think we recorded it to video.
• Kristina made dinner last night with cookies for desert.  This allowed me to continue working and watch John.  I still have so much to catch up on my work.
• Getting help with my web server from a guy in Hungary that I've never even met.  The world is so incredibly flat.  That's Kristina's observation and she is right.
• WFH
• Breakfast is waiting for me

H.H.

On 12/12/07, Michelle Jones <MLJones@midwestiso.org> wrote:

Hee-hee, every morning I giggle thinking about Office Space because we have "The Kevin's" and all refer to them as "The Kevin's" on this call every morning.

 

Have a great day!

 

Michelle Jones

Quality Assurance Analyst, CM-QA Group

Midwest ISO

Desk:  317.249.5870

Cell:  317.752.0316 

mljones@midwestiso.org

 

--
Chris Beckworth

Three Months Today

Again too much time has passed since my last glog. I could make excuses, but having an old friend in town made me realize that part of the reason I've not glogged is that life is so damn good I feel I may not need to appreciate this. After serious ramblings about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, it seems all the more important to continue glogging.

Reasons to continue glogging:

• Keep writing skills fresh. I am increasingly using the vocabulary of a politician (7th grade level) rather than of a college graduate.
• Keep the appreciation train rolling. I've work to do to move to the Esteem level so it's time to start filling in the gaps.
• Stay ambitious and motivated. Complacency is a killer.
• My new iPhone.

I am grateful for:

• John's hole being healed... that was awesome even though it was 6 weeks ago.
• Kristina making it to 3 months of breastfeeding. What an astonishing, incredible, fantastic achievement.
• John being such a happy baby - all credit to Kristina.
• John making it 3 months
• Having a great friend in Michelle and the prospect of a lifelong relationship between our families.
• Showers
• All the firsts
• Figuring out how to mod_rewrite my .htaccess file for myfamily.org
• Changing my 'screenname' to rappin' reggie
• Helping a new friend find herself
• having so many friends with whom to share ideas (ok - 3, but that's a lot in my book).
• Christmas
• Crostini di Polenta con funghi in salsa di vino bianco e burro. Buon appetito
• Vino, vino, vino

H.H.

Inner Peace

I am passing  this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we could all use a little  more calmness in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on the Dr.  Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to  achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started and never  finished." So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and  hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a  bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream,  a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac  prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos and a box of chocolates.  You have no idea how freaking good I feel.

Please pass this on to those you feel  might be in need of inner peace.

Back Glog

Some serious catching up to do.

I'm going to pretend it's two weeks ago and today for the next 2 weeks.  Our financial planner, Mitch Kramer of Fluent Financial, a great guy and one hell of a model American, said it would be a good idea to capture all the emotions felt at the time of John's birth and then read them again on his birthday...

So.... 2 weeks ago I am grateful for:

• My mom spending the night with us before John's delivery.  She slept late - a true once in a lifetime deal.  Usually she'd be the one up first making coffee.  Instead, I went up stairs at 4:46 am to find her midway through an unseasonably large redwood - sawing away. 
  

"Mom?" I queried. 
"What," replied a groggy voice. 
"Today's John's birthday.  You're going to be late!" I chimed. 
"What time is it?"  Now she sounded worried.
"4:46"
"Aw shit."

• Amazed at how Kristina had dealt with her fears days before the surgery and seemed calm and sure about meeting our little man.  Note - she was also weak from not eating anything. 
  
• I was so glad we'd picked the 5:30.  We seemed to be the only patients there and a full staff was on hand. 
  
• Neil, the CRNA prepped Kristina.  Weird that some think it's weird for a man to be a nurse, but Neil's steady hands, calming voice, and "I've done this a million times already this morning" tone made Kristina that much more comfortable.
• My scrub top was great.  The scrub one-size-fits-all trash bag pants sucked.  That's ok.  They really wouldn't show in the picture, and John wouldn't care.
• The OR was sterile and I was extremely happy the lights weren't reflective or mirrored in a fashion that would allow Kristina to watch the handwork.
• Private, alone moments in 7-Eleven grade brightness and a crowd.  Looking into Kristina's eyes and showing her that I am here - always have been, always will be.
  
• Laughing about how cold the ER was.
• Kristina asking for a pain check and the Anesthesiologist replying - "Trust me - you're not feeling a thing."
  
• Tommy - the baby nurse was awesome.  He, Neil, and Dr. so and so (he'll send the Anesthetist bill) kept me on point with what to film and what makes a good memory. 
  
• Timing - At the right moment, Dr. Spooner and Dr. Watts positioned John and told him to come on... it's his birthday.  "Stand up Dad," Dr. Spooner proclaimed and keep filming.
• John's first cry.
• Modern health care.
• Taking the proud daddy walk to the nursery following my son.
• Holding John's hand as he endured all the nursery and state "procedures"
• Having my two moms and Susan there to watch the whole thing.
• Tiny foot prints and tiny hand prints that take up the whole hand print and foot print card because they aren't so tiny!
• 10 pounds.  6 ounces.  21.25 inches
• Coming back from the nursery to see Kristina, passing the OR and being pointed to recovery with these words: "Your wife is all finished, alert, and in recovery."  In the baby excitement and daddy duties, I almost was able to put my worry in the back of my mind regarding Kristina's safety, but there's really nothing like having mom and baby safe and sound.
• Oddly grateful for long stays in the hospital for C-Section patients.  Way to go BC.
• Unbelievably humbled by the life affirming miracle of childbirth.

Today I am grateful for:

• An amazingly beautiful wife.
  
• The smartest, strongest, best baby - EVER.
• Clean bill of health for Kristina.
  
• Healthy 1st checkup for John.  His VSD is gone but we'll celebrate when the cardiologist concurs.
• 11 pounds, 4 ounces.  23 inches.
• Finally learning to burp him... call me, I'll teach you the no pat burp technique!
• Accordian toots
• Siebel releases that finally work - talk about getting rid of a monkey.
• Family Time.
• Picasa to store my photos.
• Shiner 98.

H.H.

Pass me a Forty

Stilled slammed at work but I've been busy making some great strides, too.  Today I am grateful for:

• A big, healthy, baby on the way.
• The prospect of Kristina having a safe, healthy delivery.
• A kind and professional OB/GYN that takes to listen to and hear our concerns.
• Making Kristina happy by hanging new drapes in our bedroom so that our room is nice and dark.
• Learning some really good baby info at the Baby CPR, Choking, and SIDS class.
• Ninety-Two
• Sharing the glog affect with a co-worker so that she may help a mutual friend get through and hopefully avoid post-pardom.  They've begun journaling to each other and are feeling positive effects already.
• Going 40.2 mph in a pass on my normal training loop.
• Going 42 mph in the same spot the 2nd time through.
• Having an awesome ride and being called "big" by a fellow rider.
• Getting things done.
• Having a wise friend who casually shares her knowledge.  Gratitude affects me profoundly every time.
• Continued confidence in myself thanks to pursuing greater fitness.
  

H.H.

Preparation B

I guess getting up at 5:50 is the male version of nesting.  Anywho, an occasional show up at work at 7am can't be all bad... can it?  Don't answer.  Right now it focus time.  Get work done.  Get outstanding personal tasks handled.  Time is fleeting and the impending arrival of a baby certainly bears that out; grrrrr baby.  Time to get prepared.  John is already 10 pounds.  My guess is we'll be inducing much sooner than the expected arrival date. 

I titled this glog "Preparation B" as in "B" for baby.  However, it makes me wonder about Preparation H.  Exactly how bad were the side affects of Preperation A - G?  Just wondering.  Today I am grateful for:

• My beautiful, healthy wife.  Seriously.  Every second I look at her I am amazed.  She had her first cramp list night and I was so pleased I woke so that I could rub her calf until it was gone. 
• A healthy, active 10 pound boy.  Did you see the turtle?  At least 8 ounces is boy parts!  Hah.  John's a luck little guy to have a Mommy like Kristina take such good care of him as he grows.
• Kristina's interest in exposing John to foreign languages while he's still less than 1 year old.  Now to make that plan a reality.
• Continuing my new tradition of mowing the yard on Tuesday nights.  What a time saver that will be.  Also, I'm pleased with the positive environmental impact that mowing on 5/5 (that's high) is having.  I can water only 3 times a week and my grass is super green.
• Peg and Velton's visit to Big D for the final sonogram.
• Having a highly productive day of work yesterday.
• Taking time to plan another productive day of work for today.
• Creating a blog photo album at picasa so I can add to it and see the photos on my new "Glog Show" in my sidebar!
• Catching K in the act of nesting!
• Abundance
• Health
• 88

HH

Genesis of Getting It Done

I've always taken pride in the fact that I am the type of person that is good at taking something right in front of me and getting it done. It may be strange to learn I'm a bit of a HUGE procrastinator with those non mission critical items such as taxes, cleaning my closet, or finishing the unpack job on my office. At least I know where the problem lies. Actually, I think I may have just discovered that this very moment. How can I be so good at getting stuff done when my back is against the wall but so terrible at follow through on others? Don't worry, that's rhetorical - no need to comment.
I digress. Some people wrinkle and fade like a cheap suit when the pressure's on, but that's when I am at my best. Of course, it's truthiness that allows me to say that. In actuality, I just don't crack when others have. So it only seems like I'm getting something done when really I'm just keeping my head a few inches higher above the water than everyone else. My best work is always that for which I am well prepared and can take my time. Nonetheless, I have only ever completed those tasks which needed the most attention. Example: I've had the new Beckworth Associates logo done for weeks. Why isn't the web site up? I could say it's because I am tired or busy at work or whatever, but truth (not truthiness) is that I would rather watch The Colbert Report on Comedy Central.
This weekend I finally learned where I get my get-go from. My Dad. What a great guy. We kids have crapped on him for years. You weren't around when I needed this. And where were you when I needed that? Don't get me wrong, Ed is a bit of a loon. Not real reliable in general, but if you call him and say,"Dad, I could really use your help. Bring tools." He's there.
Many years ago, I spent a lot of time setting myself on my own path. I questioned why my Dad never this and that. Any kid of divorced parents goes through this. Determined not to end up like my siblings, I took control of my situation and decided long ago, that Dad did whatever he did because of him. Not because of me. I was right. Ed is a little loco. He lacks goal and a desire for self-actualization. He fails to grow inside and mature completely for a number of very good and very sad reasons. Ed also did an amazing thing and kept a cycle of hurt from continuing past him. Interpersonally, Ed gets a bye with me. A lot of times he's great to talk to and hang with once you give him a moment to acclimate and unload.
Dad is pretty awesome. He doesn't get enough credit. He takes pride in being a hard worker. He's an excellent provider. He is patient. He's willing to teach if you are willing to learn and willing to take over and finish a task when you've tried your best. Then he takes time to show you how to do something right without chiding you or making feel less of a person for not knowing. He values the nearly lost art of DOING THINGS RIGHT and not just doing things. His best tools: common sense, high mechanical aptitude, true self-reliance, persistence.
A lot of times I catch myself, more frequently my brother, saying something Dad would say. What I really mean is that is something Ed would do or say. As far as Dads go, if yours isn't like mine, you probably need to invite me up for a weekend to help you around the house and teach you a few things!
Today I am grateful for:

• Getting it done around the house: saving $3,000 in a/c work with $20 in parts, fixing a sticky door, fixing another sticky door, hanging a ceiling fan on the back porch (including running electrical wiring), making the back porch ceiling look better than before, learning that gasoline gets out oil-based paint and Tide gets out gas, fixing the spring-loaded hinge on my door rather than buying new just by tightening and "making" a new pin to hold it, hanging a new light fixture on my porch, installing a new recessed socket so Kristina can have a lamp on our entry table.
  
• An increase in confidence that I will be an even better father. I will build on the lessons I have been taught and give John all the opportunity to be a better man than I.
• My extremely sexy pregnant wife. Every day she is more beautiful to me.
• Mister Active - John Cannon - that's his pro-wrestler name. The kid has moves.
  
• An awesome family dinner with the bro's fam and Dad's fam.
• You

HH

Bye Bye Trees

That sounds pretty non-green of me.  Read on.  Today I am grateful for:

• The green trash guys coming by early to pick up my tree trimmings.  Also, it was nice to see they only picked that up and that there is a separate trash truck.  Plano does a good job recycling and I am glad to live here knowing that.  I think I will bag my grass appropriately to contribute even more.
  
• Kristina's dad having come up to help me clean out the garage.  Better his truck than my little SUV.
• Not having any emergency work calls over the weekend.
• The complement of my client wanting to offer me a full time position.
  
• Getting everything moved to the appropriate room
• Finding and ordering the replacement bulb for my DLP TV and knowing that I can change it myself.
• Having some time to glog.
• John being so active all the time.  It makes us happy and proud.
• Sixty-five.
• Kristina's back feeling better
• Susan having time to come by and take Kristina to the chiro.
• You, my sweet smurfette, you.
  

H.H.

Best of Intentions...

Well, I am finally getting back into the swing of things.  It's been a super rough road as of late.  Both Kristina and Michelle gently remind me that when life is most hectic - that's the time to glog.  I had good intentions to be sure.  I wanted to start photo glogging.  I thought that would be easy.  Then the software which connects to my mobile phone decided not to work so I can't get the photos off.  I used that excuse until I blew up the database at work.  I resolved it in about 10 minutes, but the fallout was ridiculous.  Seriously.  Momentarily I thought I was going to get sued.  Then we closed on our house.  Stress.  Then we moved.  Stress.  Then the dude that was going to buy our old house flakes.  Stress.  Then parents come to help us settle.  Stress.  Out of town trips.  Herniated disk.  Post-moving.  Colleague blows his Siebel junk up and puts me on a 24 hour conference call to fix it.  Then I spend the whole week working his junk only to have my client ask me when I am going to install the upgrade for my application. 
GLOG GLOG GLOG

Today I am grateful for:

• A hard working wife.
• A smart wife
• A practical wife
• A SEXY PREGNANT WIFE
• That all 4 wives are the same... I could never be a Mormon... yes offense to Mormons (totally kidding).
• So much abundance.  I am a professional problem solver.  I solve problems big and small.  This is my gift.  God, The Universe, or Whomever you believe in knows this and sends me problems in all their form.  I am grateful for such a complement.  While in the throws the stress is sometimes nearly too much, the thrill of solving is worth it.
• So much abundance.  I am grateful beyond words (almost) that so much is going right in my life.  Awesome wife.  Good friends near and far.  A house I can make a real home of and the finances to afford such a reasonable "estate."
• Second chances.  Even though we brushed off a Realtor willing to sell our house and only charge the buyer's fee, she is happy to still make the same offer after our buyer fell through.
• Verizon FIOS.  This stuff rocks.
• Susan.  We'd not have anything done around here without her help.  She's such a great sister-in-law.  I only hope I have the opportunity to repay her in favors and deeds in the future.
• Brandon.  What an awesome friend to come and stand-in as the man as my herniated disk prevents me from doing so.
• Learning the power of asking for help.
• Getting my trees trimmed and the brush all tied up right away so I am not the bad neighbor.
• Cooking waffles on my new Belgian waffle iron in my new kitchen.  Mmm waffles.  They should be their own food group.
• Giving Kristina the very first waffles.
• Blueberries, strawberries, and powdered sugar - they way God intended.
• A new seat post for my bike - can't wait to fit it up!
• Being able to change a flat and pop the tire back on without tire levers.  The sense of accomplishment almost makes it worth the 6 bucks for the tube.
  
• Michelle being available for a call when I had pooped on all my other loved ones.  Being able to get my laugh on about stupid stuff helped me understand that a better frame of mind is just a laugh away.
• Sixty-two and all the confidence.  I may have missed a day here or there but I am still on the calendar and on pace... i.e. I missed 54, but the next day I did 55 because that's what the calendar says.
• You, my faithful little smurf, you!

H.H.

--
Chris Beckworth

Getting Culture-fied

What a crazy weekend.  Today I am grateful for:

• The Dallas Symphony Orchestra and Chloe Trevor's Performance of Tchaikovsky's Violin Concerto this Saturday.
• Feeling John's thumps and watching Kristina jump as my baby boy enjoys such a classical masterpiece.
• Committing to listening to classical music so many months ago and finally beginning to understand the beauty of such challenging art.
• Making lemonade out of lemons at the Cafe Grande Lux.  Seriously crappy service, but rock star parking, good food, and great company.
• Getting an awesome quote on painting the house
• Things going our way with High Cliff and generating positive interest
• Riding my bike even more.
• Thirty Eight
• Not being in any kind of hurry any more
• Cooking an awesome vegetarian pasta dish and then serving it up with steak!
• Wiener Schnitzel - Europe's classier chicken fried steak.
• Closing on our house was nice, but everyone's congratulations even nicer.
• Mike and Susan's interest in us and their interest in cycling.  They are such a blessing to Kristina and me.

H.H.

Gentle Reminders

• "When you think you are too busy, I gently suggest that's when the glog will work it's magic."  - MJT. 
  
• Them's some right smart words.  Thanks Kiddo.
• Twenty-nine
• Getting to ride 5 hours this week
• Steriod patches
• Siebel patches
• Free tickets to a Rangers v. Astros game with a good friend
• The focus that comes with riding my bike
• Experiencing new food with Kristina... even though Biegnets are really just Sopapillas!
• Having my sliced tire warrantied.
• Having all the funding lined up a week ahead of time
• Finding only 5 flyers left in our take one box...
• Showing some impromptu buyers the house.
• My Dads thumbs up on the new house
• John Cannon being so active.  That makes us feel good.  It also rocks that he kicks and squirms whenever he here's me explain stuff.
• You

H.H.

Abundance

Halfway through the weekend now, I really need to pause and recall all the abundance from this week.  It was Thursday morning around 9:30.  As I strolled from my car to the office, a warm summer breeze brisked by and reminded me of Aruba.  "How fortunate I am to have been to Aruba.  Twice.  And to have this warm summer breeze remind me of such a great time."  It's is to forget all the gifts of life and focus on the hardships.  I realize now and always that I control my punta de vista - point of view. Today I am grateful for:

• John Cannon being so active whenever he hears my voice
• Kristina being such a great homemaker
• Rehab progress
• Getting a better house than the one we were settiling on
• Passing inspection with the new house
• Getting a great rate on our loan
• Traction and steriods feeling great
• A 30 minute ride on the bike that was more like 50 - don't tell anyone.  I had permission for 30!
  
• Already having a potential buyer for our house.
• You

When I was validictorian I didn't do the standard walk down memory lane.  Instead, I gave a 4 minute dissertation on doing what you set your mind to doing.  I had forgotten until now that my "quotable" was "You can do what you think you can do."  Shame that it took me 15 more years to realize that I was right.

Mozart and Bread and Jam for Francis

My favorite book of all time is Bread and Jam for Francis.  When I was a kid, I had a little red record player and the book and the narrated record to go with the book.  I played it and read along many a nights.  Tonight, after John Cannon's first Mozart session, he was still active.  I put a battery in the microphone and read Bread and Jame for Francis to him.  He kicked and squirmed with interest... or so I think.
Today I am grateful for:

• Technology and baby research.  They help me be a better dad.
• Kristina for buying me Bread and Jam for Francis a few Christmasses ago because she knew it was my favorite.
• Kristina's new found energy.
• John's predictable activeness - like when Kristina tries to settle down on the sofa for a little nap.
• Finding a new neighborhood to look at more houses
• Friends and colleagues giving their advice regarding our home inspection. 
  
• Not being attached to any house until we move in a call it home.
• Easy days at work.
• You

H.H.

paperwork... ugh

Well... definitely been one of those days, but today I am grateful for:

• an abundance of paperwork... an abundance of this usually means an abundance of surplus or debt.  We've been good, so it's surplus.  Sure, the paperwork is a headache, but better than the alternative
• getting the new house inspected (paperwork).  even though the report is not what we wanted, better to know now.
• having an interested buyer.  even though their questions were insulting and their offer without seeing the house quite rude, it's nice having interest without advertising.
• not having to sell our house for less than we want.
• Kristina being home.  She's so organized when she has the time.  I can feel it becoming infectious and I sorely need to be more organized.
• working from home today.
• being focused on only a few things.
• a set back in my rehab that let's me know I am in complete control of healing.  if I am going to be a dummy and move things, I will pay the price.  the positive is that if I can give myself time, I will heal.
• being ready to walk away from our new house if it's not the right deal.

That's about it... ooh... you.

H.H.

Here's to long weekends

I'm really grateful for an awesome wife and a kicking son... I like how John gets active every night about the same time.  Let's talk serious for a little bit now.

Regardless of your politics, today is a day to be grateful for Memorial Day and those that have given their lives fighting for what we Americans believe.  On this day or even when you read this, give pause to be grateful for just a few of these things:

• That the war against terror is not being fought on American soil
• The last war fought on American soil was the Civil War.
• Despite how poorly we fight wars against drugs, poverty, and illiteracy, we are bold enough to fight them
• That while we have more troops and civilians deployed than ever in our history, we still go about our daily lives: shopping, eating, etc.
• That we don't have to do bomb drills at work
• That our children learn duck and cover for tornadoes not for bombs
• That being patriotic is your choice
• That you can be an apathetic slob: never vote, never serve, never volunteer, and still feel safe.
• That you do not know true corruption nor live in fear that the army will overthrow your government
• That American - US of A is the greatest place to live on planet earth.  Now if we could only grow up!
  

Now, educate yourself.  Learn why you have a long weekend the last Monday of every May.
Original Article:

"Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a day of remembrance for those who have died in our nation's service. There are many stories as to its actual beginnings, with over two dozen cities and towns laying claim to being the birthplace of Memorial Day. There is also evidence that organized women's groups in the South were decorating graves before the end of the Civil War: a hymn published in 1867, "Kneel Where Our Loves are Sleeping" by Nella L. Sweet carried the dedication "To The Ladies of the South who are Decorating the Graves of the Confederate Dead" (Source: Duke University's Historic American Sheet Music, 1850-1920). While Waterloo N.Y. was officially declared the birthplace of Memorial Day by President Lyndon Johnson in May 1966, it's difficult to prove conclusively the origins of the day. It is more likely that it had many separate beginnings; each of those towns and every planned or spontaneous gathering of people to honor the war dead in the 1860's tapped into the general human need to honor our dead, each contributed honorably to the growing movement that culminated in Gen Logan giving his official proclamation in 1868. It is not important who was the very first, what is important is that Memorial Day was established. Memorial Day is not about division. It is about reconciliation; it is about coming together to honor those who gave their all.

General John A. Logan Library of Congress, Prints & Photographs Division, [LC-B8172- 6403 DLC (b&w film neg.)]

Memorial Day was officially proclaimed on 5 May 1868 by General John Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic, in his General Order No. 11, and was first observed on 30 May 1868, when flowers were placed on the graves of Union and Confederate soldiers at Arlington National Cemetery. The first state to officially recognize the holiday was New York in 1873. By 1890 it was recognized by all of the northern states. The South refused to acknowledge the day, honoring their dead on separate days until after World War I (when the holiday changed from honoring just those who died fighting in the Civil War to honoring Americans who died fighting in any war). It is now celebrated in almost every State on the last Monday in May (passed by Congress with the National Holiday Act of 1971 (P.L. 90 - 363) to ensure a three day weekend for Federal holidays), though several southern states have an additional separate day for honoring the Confederate war dead: January 19 in Texas, April 26 in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and Mississippi; May 10 in South Carolina; and June 3 (Jefferson Davis' birthday) in Louisiana and Tennessee."

Abundance

Glogging is starting to work it's magic again.  Today I am grateful for:

• Having family in town and making them waffles.  Bar none, absolutely the best waffles ever.  Maybe they were enhanced by the mimosas!
• We made an offer on our house and were able to come to terms with our seller
• Michelled reaching the centennial mark glogging... way to go Michelle.
• Kristina and my mother bonding with pregnancy stories
• Doug doing so well with his knee replacement
• The pain in my back becoming more centralized - a sign of healing
• My physical therapist says I could be back on the back on a limited basis in a week
• Snuggling with Krisitna and John Cannon.
• You.

H.H.

Found it

• We found our home and offered. Let's keep our fingers crossed.



• Found out today that the carpet which looks new is actually 1 year old. That's important as we thought we'd have to replace with a natural fiber carpet
• John Cannon is kicking like crazy
• Kristina only has 2 days of school left!
• My hommie E telling me that the FJ Cruiser is a safe care and he's right!
• Having sore muscles other than the ones in my back - this means I've been working out.
• Working from home
• Maybe having a buyer for our house
• Buying some new workout clothes as a reward to myself for making improvement
• Getting to call off the workaround because it won't work. Approval to wait for the fix.
• Parents coming to town.
• 4 day weekends
• You

H.H.

What chew, what chew, what chew want? What chew want?

• Sharing a bagel and coffee with Kristina before heading off to work.
• Michelle's glog about a vision board.  I can't wait to learn more about visualizing what I want.
• Kristina telling me "no" on a new house.  Why?  Because it doesn't meet the criteria we've set about what we want in a house.
• Seeing a pattern in getting what you want.
• The Beastie Boys (in case you hadn't figured it out)
• Little kicks and hiccups.
• Putting a season pass on ninja warrior.
• My back not getting tired until 3:58 pm rather than 1 pm.
• Making progress on the Siebel product defect work-around
• Trying to focus and keep things simple and binary.
• Helping people with nutrition and fitness.  I wish I could figure out how to do it and not be a poor trainer at 24 Hour Fitness.  Another day.
• Implicit compliments.  Thanks for thinking of me for an architect position, Heather.
• Spring showers with Sunshine.  It's going to rain some more.
• Uncle Tito's and 2 olives!
• Fun mexican food.
• You

H.H.

Lazy Sundays

Yeah, sleeping late is good. Not many of those Sundays left. Today I am grateful for:

• Never setting my alarm clock.
• A walk with Kristina
• A pee break
• Then another walk :)
• John Cannon really kicking away
• Ninja Warrior Marathon cracking our junk up - go Shingo Yamamoto.
• An afternoon nap
• Getting a little work done
• You

H.H.

Ninja Warrior

OK.  This is the best show ever.  You have to find Ninja Warrior.  It's a game show out of Tokyo.  It's a mad crazy obstacle course that makes you realize how important your core really is.  Let's get down to business.  It's been an awesome day.  Today, I am grateful for:

• Having such a truly blessed life.
• Finally getting to do my new back friendly gym workout. 
  
• Spending the day in Richardson and realizing that city is not for us.
• Hanging out with my nephew Trey and realizing what an important role that is.
• Trey being old enough to ride without a car or booster seat.  It's so unbelievable that he is that old.  I really enjoyed his company today.
• Lillie.  I love that little girl.  I am so glad John Cannon is coming and would have him first a million time.  However, I hope I am blessed enough to have a little girl I can love and spoil ABSOLUTELY ROTTEN.
• Kristina.  She's such a trooper.  I am so lucky to wake up and get to tell her I love her while she's still snoozing.
• Pregnant Wife = Designated Driver
• Being invited to hang with Canadians.
• I wonder if Canadians talk about how funny they are when Americans aren't around.
• Making new friends
• Glogging
• You

H.H.

Thump, thump, thump...

September 21, 1991.  That's the day Kristina came into Gadzooks, where I was working, and we officially met.  There's an alleged encounter that spring at her school's sports banquet, but I was there with the girlfriend du jour.  On 9/21/1991, we flirted, I gave her my phone number by telling her that parents' phone number was the same as mine except instead of ###-###-4049, mine was ###-###-40 19.  Two days later her friend Aubrey called in proxy and ultimately... well, the rest is history.

Today, May 18, 2007 is a date I want to remember the rest of my life.  Today I am grateful for:

• John Cannon's little thump.  That's right today, May 18, 2007, I felt my son move in Kristina's belly.  He was so active.  Just thumping around.  This is surely more incredible than the movements to come.  This is the FIRST time.  He's still so small and his playground so roomy.  Somehow he wiggled to a place where he could give a good little thump.
• Speaking to John and feeling a connection as he thumped around.
• May 18, 2007
• Calling Kristina "you two" and "you guys" and "ya'll." 
  
• Kristina calling herself us, we, and our.
• Cooking breakfast for dinner... for 3.
• Kristina and John having 3 pieces of bacon, 3 pieces of French Toast with my special hot brown sugar apples, and 1 egg.  Me: 2 eggs, 2 pieces of French Toast, 2 pieces of bacon.
• May 18, 2007
• Getting another chance to offer on Shoal Creek and taking it.  The bank dropped their price and I raised mine... barely. :)
  
• Having lunch at Jason's Deli with the work gang and getting to pick the table.  I picked the 4 top next to the table with 2 moms and 5 kids.  None of the kids were older than 5.  Only 1 boy in the whole bunch.  Funny little 20 mo. old crawled down from mom, chocolate ice cream all over his shirt, walked right over to me to say hi and show me his new teeth.  Blonde hair, blue eyes.
• You
• May 18, 2007

H.H.

More Coordinated...

Yep.  Things are starting to come together.  I think maybe I work better in 3s.  It's pretty hard to focus on work with the back and the house thing, but I really have to dig in now.  Siebel is not going to produce a fix patch in time, so I have to produce the goods and write the work-around.  Nonetheless, today I am grateful for:

• Seeing the forest and picking out a few trees.  Life is a myriad problem; or can be.  The problem: the minutia in their dense numeracy grow a forest, or so it would seem.  Far away, a forest seems solid trees.  Close up, mostly scrub brush, briar bush, old fallen logs, compost.  The forest is my laundry list of problems to solve.  Today I realize most are just dense briar bush.  Thorny, a pain to get through, but not the heart of the forest.  Just a necessary part of the ecosystem.
• 3305 Wareham.  Could be the one, if "the Price is Right."
• Bob Barker, why not.
• Knowing that I can fix the problem and hoping I find the motivation to do it 91 times.
• House hunting for lunch.  Healthier than one might think.
• http://rehab.chrisbeckworth.com
• Grey's Anatomy, Lost, ER.  So what.  I've missed the entire season.  I watched pieces tonight and apparently not much is different.
• Vive il Giro d'Italia.
  
• The internets helping me solve the mysterious smoke alarm issue.  Hint: if it isn't your batteries then vacuum them for spider webs.  If one goes off they all go off.  Just one little spider web can do it.
• 6 more days of school (in proxy for Kristina).
• You, kiddo, you.

H.H.

Me

Sure, it's a day of me.  I deserve it.  I'm the best.  Right?  Well, I'm working on it and really "me" is only the best because of we.  Me does so much better when me remembers that we are here to help.  Well, everyday can't be a pulitzer nominee.  Long story longer I'm grateful for the people that help me, people like:

• Jarol at physiotherapy associates.  I don't know how anyone can be that witty in the morning.  It's refreshing to meet someone that loves their work.  She's put together a staff of like minded individuals.
• Advice from Casebolt.  He's a great sounding board and helps me learn the PT terms so I can speak intelligently about the affect of the PT.
• The compliment of being called a Technical Advisor by a client when she was asked by her manager to rate the role I fulfill.  FYI TA is the highest position a technical employee can obtain without having any direct reports.  Her manager agreed.
• Helen juggling her schedule to sneak over to show me some houses tomorrow.
• Adrian shooting Kristina and I straight about the foreclosure.  If it's meant to be ours, we won;t find anything new and in 22 days, we'll offer again.  Banks tend to give up after 150 days.
• Lisa and Shannon riding along and telling me whether or not I should show Kristina this new house... a resounding yes.  Tomorrow could be good.
• Charles' wife making sushi and getting to share some of it.

I'm also extremely, profoundly blessed when I get to share a moment with Kristina waiting for John to kick.  He's moving I just don't get to feel it yet, but the anticipation is unique, unlike any other anticipation.

Just another day on the glog

Nothing miraculous today.  Just putting in the work.  Today I am grateful for:

• Keeping my glog 2 days in a row.
• Putting an offer in on a foreclosure and not being emotionally tied to it.  I think we will get it, but if not, we'll be ok, and we're already finding other places to live!
• A great day of house hunting with Helen.
• Knocking some houses off the list which we thought would be ringers.
• The "memories" house we knew would be a loser but was actually our favorite.  We still don't like the formals.  Who needs formals anyway?
• Looking forward to another day of PT.
• John getting his first personalized blanket. 
  
• Kristina working hard to take care of herself during pregnancy.
• The special meals Kristina and I have at McAlister's.  Sure, it's just a sandwich shop, but we always get quality time there.
• You.

H.H.

Go Joe...

Did you watch the G.I. Joe cartoons when you were a kid.  I did.  I remember the last part, after the commercials when they said they'd be right back.  It was always some safety announcement or some kind of useful information a kid should have.  Stuff like: wear a life preserver, or swim with a buddy, or never talk to strangers, or wear reflective clothing at Halloween, etc.  However, at the end of each little announcement they'd say, "And now you know."  Then G.I. Joe, himself, would flash on screen and say,"And knowing is half the battle."  Then the whole crew: "GO JOE."  Roll credits: "Real American Hero, Geeeee Iiiiiiii Joooooooooe."  Absolutely riveting.


You know what?  Know is half the battle.  If you don't know the problem, you will never find a solution. Half or more of the battle to solving any problem is knowing just what that problem is.  Lately, I've been fighting a lot of battles.  Fighting them by myself.  Not winning.  Oddly I didn't even know what I was fighting.  I needed help.  We all do from time to time. 

The lesson here is screw the imposition, the modesty, and all other hold-backs that slow us down.  People are social creatures.  By and large, they like to help each other.  I almost always receive greater satisfaction helping than being helped.  It was high time I realize that and give that satisfaction to others.

Today I am grateful for knowing:

• That I have a herniated disc in my L4 & 5.  That it's been there long enough to hit the nerves that tell my leg how to peddle and my hip flexors how to flex.  That this is why I am in pain and why I can't train.
• That there are exercises I can perform to alleviate, repair and heal.  That highly trained folks are ready to help me do that.
• That knowing is half the battle.

I am also grateful for:

• Kristina understanding how emotionally tough these past few weeks have been and understanding how none of it has to do with her.  More importantly, her expressions of love tell me how she knows that her and John are keeping me going!
  
• Michelle's counsel when I found out about my back
• John Cannon
• Making an offer @ Shoal Creek.
• Getting news we may not get our offer accepted and then finding another house tonight that looks like a perfect fit!
• Doing my PT
• Havng the Giro d'Italia on Tivo.
• Glogging
• You

H.H.

Challenges and Purpose

Lately, I've been in a complete and total funk.  There's no other word for it.  I've been angry, disappointed, sad, despondent.  I can't train or race now because my body needs time to heal.  I've been working for months to fix a Siebel patch for a client so I can upgrade them to a supported release and allow them to upgrade to a supported IBM DB2 platform and upgrade to a supported AIX release.  No matter how hard I try or how late I work there are still product defects and bugs and Siebel isn't so keen to fix them in any kind of hurry.  Lastly, no matter how much I look, I can't seem to find the right house.  Our current house is too small for John Cannon and we, or I, really want to move before he gets here.
It's absolutely awful timing.  I just want to sit back and relax.  Which for me, means cooking for Kristina, enjoying our pregnancy, and racing my bike.  Maybe work on the business a little bit, maybe not.  Why do I need all these challenges.  Things used to be so easy.
Not finding the answer within, it was time to start finding it without; as in, without me.  I laid down next to my beautiful pregnant wife last night and began to pray for what I really wanted.  I want Kristina to enjoy being pregnant.  I want her to experience the beauty of creation that He has given to us.  I want John Cannon to be healthy and strong and have all the opportunity and potential all little ones receive.  I want John to have the best of all we can give him: childhood, environment, values, everything.
In that moment of  focusing on things without me, I realized that my challenges have a purpose.  My body breaking down for so long, my work being seemingly impossible, the great house hunt.  Normally, rest, a couple of late nights on the computer, and luck would solve these three.  Instead I find that I've been staring at the same problems for nearly 3 months and longer.  Now, I understand that the challenges are for me to learn valuable lessons. 
I don't know what these lessons are yet, but today I am grateful for the gift of understanding that life's challenges are not without purpose.  I am grateful that I have a companion with whom I can meet these challenges.  I am grateful for such strong challenges that I may have the opportunity to learn so much about life, others, and myself.  I am grateful for Him.  I am grateful for you.
H.H.

The House Hunt Continues...

Yep, still looking for a house.  Now we know all the places that we would live.  We understand how houses are built from each decade and know what  to expect.  We may have even found a house or four that we like.  However, I am grateful for much more than that:

• Quality time with Kristina (and John).  House hunting is not the most pleasant thing but time is time.  We only get so much of it.  Spending it with someone we love when doing something that's not so pleasant kind of balances things out.
• Our healthy pregnancy.  Kristina is doing so well and in such good spirits.  It's cute to see her get winded climbing stairs.
• Coffee at the Daily Grind
• Unexpectedly making new friends with an acquantaince of Kristina's.  It's nice to hit it off with a couple. Helps to feel more connected.
• Learning to be realistic about our expectations in a home.
• Yoga.
• My little sister getting over the death of her cat so well.
• Finally deciding on a direction with my business - now if I can just start working on it.
• Doug getting his knees repaired.  He's such a great grandpa and we really want him to be able to play with John.
• Just 2 short weeks of school remaining for Kristina
• Officially halfway to John!
• Kristina.
• You
• John Cannon

H.H.

I'm Back

OK. So it's not really a triumphant or glorious return. More to the point, I'm just going to try to start taking control again. I guess maybe the cycling injury really pulled me down for a long time. I'd always know that cycling is my passion. Needless to say, I've been a bit gloomy. However, there's so much in my life to be grateful for and I know realize that coming back from this injury is going to take time, dedication, and persistance: the same formula that gets me to race fitness. That said, today I am grateful for:

• Kristina is feeling better than ever. Her energy is up and so to is her spirit.
• John Cannon is here. Everyone has been so supportive of our choice in name and more importantly his arrival. Visit him here: www.johnbeckworth.com
• Michelle for being persistant and patient.
• Work finally levelling off. It's may now. I'd planned for things to really level off by mid-March, but best laid plans... right? Well, better late than never.
• Getting John all registered
• Great advice from so many people concerning the items for which we should register: Janie and Scott, Erica and her friends, Emilio.
• Getting some advice from Casebolt that if I want to cycle for the long haul I had better listen to what my body is saying. Here's what I've accomplished to that end:
• Starting bikram yoga at Sunstone Yoga. Megan and Angie are awesome and pointing me into the right direction to help me heal. Yoga is now part of my healing plan.
• Ice massage. Ooh so uncomfortable, but the differences is near instant. I've been able to do it 2 of the last 3 days.
• Microcurrent. Also part of the plan to do everything right.
• By doing everything right I will give my injury the only option: healing.
• Everyone saying how handsome John Cannon is. I know its only a sonogram photo, but I think they are right.
• Our journey to parenthood.
• You

H.H.

re-re-re-re-laaaaaax

Sometimes the doctor has to order something.  Here's to being "sampled" instead of sent to the pharmacy.  Today, I am grateful for:

• Skelaxin.  Glad we have modern medicine that works.  Snake oil is hard to press and tastes like crap.  Skelaxin is easy to swallow and loosens the muscles suprisingly well.
• Distilled water.  There's much debate on the magic of distilled water.  Some say drink it exclusively, others say avoid it.  However, the consensus seems to be that distilled water is great at removing toxins.  I'm glad my Mo-in-law suggested it.  She's a blast to talk woo-woo stuff with and the water is pretty good.  (Hint: drink 2 gallons of distilled water in 48 hours.  You'll feel great.)
• Kristina's growing belly.  1 week and 16 hours until we find out the gender.
• Tivo: an hour of American Idol results is absolutely unbearable.
• Less than 1 week before I return to the bike.  This time table seems to be encouraging me (or my leg).
• Finding a solution to this pesky pop-up applet problem.
• You

H.H.

DNDN DNDN DNDN

Is it ok to be grateful for money? Today I am. Upon a great tip from a friend, we made I tidy little bundle on a stock. Now I just need to sell it and cash it in. Today I am grateful for:

• DNDN and the tip from Lisa and Jeff. Nice of them to share the information.
• Kristina finally getting a good night's sleep.
• Time with family over Easter.
• Easter Snow. That's right. Snow in Texas in April. Crazy.
• A quiet visit with Kristina's family. I really enjoy the one on one talks with Peg and Velton. It's Kristina's favorite part about visiting her family. I'm always glad when there's time for me to experience it.
• Chatting with my mom and sharing with her some of the personal things I've been working on to improve me.
• Finding a dream house. Now to make it real.
• New opportunities.
• Finally solving a problem.
• Knowing that one more week of rest is all I need.
• Persistent little reminders to keep glogging.
• Wanting to know more about how to take action.
• You.

H.H.

On Multi-tasking

I think there's a distinct difference between having a lot of irons in the fire and multi-tasking.  I want to be 100% clear.  No one that is exceedingly successful admits to multi-tasking.  Why?  Because multi-tasking 4 different things simultaneously means nothing gets your full attention.  You can't iron your clothes, make pancakes, talk on the phone, and type an email at the same time.  No one can.  Likewise, you can't email, debug software, participate in a conference call, and document an upcoming release simultaneously either.  Set time limits.  Give each item your full attention.  Do the best within the preset amount of time and call it done.  Next time you'll know to give something more time or focus harder.  Follow this plan and you can have 30 irons in the fire... not just 4!  That's said, today I am grateful for:

• So many irons:
  
• pregancy, marriage, old family ties, new friends
  
• glogeffect, rapid report, smart support, boston, richardson, burlington
• new ideas, old ideas
• my office, the yard, the house, house hunting
  
• Trivial problems
• Jazz - more importantly: appreciating many types of music
• Hobo and Ruby on Rails
• An hour long conversation with my dad.
• Not having anything really deep or complicated
• You

H.H.

Surly There's Something...

Well, I've really been struggling lately so the glog has taken the hit.  Probably that's the worst thing I could do so here's an attempt to rectify that.  Today I am grateful for:

• A relaxing weekend with minimal training but maximal rest.
• Having my lawn professionally mowed.
• A lot of new opportunities in my business
• Web Technology so varied with so many choices that, although overwhelming, I know I'll find a framework that fits
• Friends and colleagues and their valued input
• Kristina turning in her resignation today and having is be well received
• Getting my LCD TV hung in the bedroom and it only cost $10!!!
• Getting new wheels for my bike.  I think the 3lb. front wheel is the best because I know it's going to make me stronger
• Finally making real progress on my hip, leg, etc. and finding that it's something I've done and can do
• Michelle's persitence
• You

H.H.

Chris

Quick Thanks

Here's some great things to be grateful for from the past few days:

• Being able to make lists in my head
• Kristina loving her I love you glog
• Friends at work being so receiving and exciting about the baby news
• Angela already finding bliss in her glog
• Finding 3 great houses that are bank owned, in super neighborhoods, and knowing we are going to get a great deal.
• Tracey at Ethan Allen telling us how her granddaughter is a perfect baby because her mommy followed the advice in Baby Wise.
• Also learning from Tracey that while her granddaughter's schedule is rigid, her parents still live, go places, do things and don't make the baby the center but rather a part of their lives.  It's so confirming to see the ideas that Kristina and I have on parenting are "kid tested and mother approved."
• Kristina glogging me
• Kristina's kids keeping gratitude journals as their journals and the positive effect it is having on them
• FINALLLY FINDING AND ORDERING A SOFA!!!!!!!!!
• You

H.H.

Lemonade is sweet

Things are busy once again.  Luck has been on my side here lately.  Once the work items from the front of the year finally cleared off, it now seems that when cycling needs precedence it gets a clear path and when work needs precedence, cycling needs a break.  This week, I'm on a recovery week and work is full steam.  New opportunities abound and I strive to take action and execute this time.  Today I am grateful for:

• Another shot at the CPL long term pharmacy rebate program.
• Forcing myself to take a recovery week from the bike.  By next week, I will be twice as strong.
• Just a month more until I find out if I get my domain name.
• Making a new lunch buddy.
• Doug bringing back new wheels from Danny.
• New music from Karla.
• Sharing new music with friends.
• Riding my fixy really really really slow.
• Watching the Mavs with Kristina and falling asleep first!
• The positive affect rearranging my cube is having.
• You

H.H.

A weekend for me.

What a great long weekend.  Today I am grateful for:

• Learning to be more patient on the bike during a race. 
  
• Feeling fresher at the end when I am patient.
• Finishing with the bunch instead of straggling in ten minutes later with a smattering of embarrassingly false applause.
• Doing 49.6 miles 3 minutes faster than 46.9 miles the previous day.
• Kristina's support of my cycling endeavors.
• New cycling buddies with Matrix.
• My family's excitement for our new arrival, everyone finally being in the know.
• My stepmother's encouraging words that we will be great parents.
• All the new gloggers.
• Having my lawn mowed.
  
• My upcoming recovery week.
• Emailing with Michelle's Craig last week.  I enjoyed being tapped as a resource and trying my best to point him to the experts rather than portray myself as a cycling guru.
• Kristina's great girls' weekend with her mother and sister. 
  
• Getting 19.6 MPG on the way back from Fayetteville.
• Getting Lea Andrah's sad glog about her cat.  Seeing that she has learned the value of long friendships from her furry little friend.  I'm proud that she had a friend that she has known for half her life.  I look forward to arriving at that milestone with Kristina very soon.
• Learning of relationship milestones from Michelle.
• Being unplugged, barely worrying about time, not really looking at my cell phone - ALL WEEKEND LONG!
• Jack or Cat - either way is going to be great.  Soon I can start talking and they will be listening.
• You.

h.h.

Someone Says Hello

Some days I'm simple. Like today. I am grateful for this little guy (or girl) and knowing that one day very soon, when I have a day like yesterday, I'll have a new face to come home to. He (or she but we think he) says hello.

Right to the point

Many things to be grateful for so I better get straight to it:

• Kristina glogging me
• Lea Andra glogging me
• President Bush's Time Change. Some may not like all his policies, but the time change is great.
  
• Being out on my bike at 7:45 PM!
• The Dallas Mavericks finally lose one. Yes. I think it's better they are humbled now than in the playoffs!
• Finding a yard guy to take care of the lawn
• Working remotely
• My Dad's help over the phone with fixing Kristina's hair dryer. We didn't get it to work, but it was still fun.
• Kristina having a spring break to relax and sleep late.

h.h.

Catching the Worm

Don't sign me up for early bird specials with the senior crowd at Luby's just yet, but hitting the hay @ 10pm last night was awesome.  I don't know why I was tired enough to sleep, but I decided that rather than getting in a different chair to really get comfortable, why not just go lay down in bed and see what happens.  5:35 AM and I am wide awake.  I lace up the kicks, put on the shorts and safety light and go for a run.  OK, it took me about 15 minutes to get out the door, then I stretched, and then I started running.  So that's where I a begin.  Today, I am grateful for:

• The run into the sunrise as I round the corner on the home stretch for the last 1.5 miles. 
  
• Hearing the geese call as they come back for spring.  It's too dark to see them but they fly through the low clouds and in the dark with utter confidence.  It gives me cause to ponder the metaphor that can server for me.
• Friends and family continuing to help with the house hunt.
• A spontaneous dinner before 5pm with Kristina at our favorite El Salvadoran restaurant: Gloria's
• Getting my outlook inbox down to 3 items!
• My Little Sister starting out small with her glog.  I know she's only 2 days away from feeling the positive affect of gratitude.
• My mother-in-law Peg and all the helpful advice with Real Estate
• Working Remotely
• The chance to ride this afternoon.
• A new face in the glogosphere.
• You

H.H.

A lesson about disappointment

I think it's ok to anticipate something and then be disappointed. What's important is that you learn something. I see so many people who numb themselves to an experience to avoid the low of a disappointment. At the same time, they also deprive themselves the high of satisfaction when their anticipation pays. Back to the learning. When disappointed, pause to learn something; especially something about yourself. If you believe in Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs then you know the point of any experience. It can be as simple as your likes and dislikes or as deep as healing an old personal wound. Today I am grateful for:

• Emilio calling me the smartest person he knows.
• A lesson in learning to be neutral about a house.
• Learning there is a good reason there are no pictures.
• House hunting with Kristina. It's fun dreaming together, even when we are disappointed with the house.
• Encouragement from friends and family to keep on looking and always be ready to walk-away.
• Little spats and quick make-ups.
• The chance to help Lea Andrah find her own joy through glogging.
• Text messages from Danny and Lea Andrah when they "blow up" her kitchen at 9pm Las Vegas time.
• Getting to bed early.
• The amazing Dallas Mavericks
• Glasses relieving my eye strain. I have 20/20, but 10 years in front of a monitor is tough on the eyes.
  
• Feeling truly blessed.
• You

H.H.

It's about being open

OK. I guess this works by just being open. Insert woo-woo hokus pokus. Some materialism is good. Today I am greatful for:

• Lara and Dennis Crump. We need to spend more time with them.
  
• Lara being such a great person and real estate agent.
• Current listing:http://www.trulia.com/property/1031928525-3713-Stonington-Dr-Plano-TX-75093
• Previous list of same home in 2005: http://ntreislistings.marketlinx.com/SearchDetail/Scripts/PrtBuyFul/PrtBuyFul.asp?prp=mls&amp;AgentId=0471298&EmailKey=19839644
  
• Comps: http://ntreislistings.marketlinx.com/SearchDetail/Scripts/PrtBuyFul/PrtBuyFul.asp?prp=mls&amp;amp;AgentId=0471298&EmailKey=19839538
• Being able to say I am ignorant and having friends willing to teach me.
• Kristina's excitement. I love to see her interested and excited in something.
• A phone call from my Dad where he offered friendly help and fatherly encouragement. A strange offering, one I really don't need, yeah right. Every son wants his father's approval and encouragement.
  
• Having friends reply to my blog about home buying advice.
• Working remotely.
• You

H.H.

The Great House Hunt

Whew, house hunting.  What an ordeal.  However, it really gives me a chance to realize what's important when the hunt is not so bountiful.  Today I'm certainly glad:

• Kristina and I can have house hunting on our list of things to accomplish before September.
• That each time we get set on a neighborhood, we seem to find another, and then another, and perhaps one that's even in our price range.
• Happy that I can now see that the appropriate response to "I'll probably have a contract on this one today," is "oh really?  I guess we shouldn't take a look around then."  Funny how suddenly the tone is changed.
• Getting the new battery for my laptop, having it charged, and seeing that it actually works.
• That I don't ever get morning sickness, or day sickness, or night sickness or anytime sickness.
• The power of the Internets to simplify house hunting.
• Michelle inspiring others to glog.
• Realizing that a short list could just be a sign of a relaxful day. :-)
• You.

h.h.

The Early Bird Special

Today, Kristina and I felt like senior citizens pulling into Luby's at 6pm.  It was a full parking lot and the line was nearly out the door.  The population really is aging.  She couldn't wait.  Eating for two demands better timing.  We found a near empty Black Eyed Pisser in the vicinity.  With that in mind, here's the joy:

• Going to bed early and waking up ready to rock.  There's really nothing going on after 12 except bigger bar tabs and vomit.  Perhaps an OT game on the west coast.  Shame it takes 32 years to figure this out.  Glad I learned before 33!
• Riding alone with no wind at a high pace.
• Learning the Daily Grind Unwind has coffee that is better than Starbucks.  The doppio espresso was exquisite.  I drank it without sugar or cream.  Then got back on my bike.
• Riding strong with the group when the wind finally came in as the sun rose over the horizon.  Taking very long pulls.
• Proud of Kristina for continuing to make it into the gym at least weekly.
• Helping her use my HR monitor so that she felt comfortable with giving the right exhertion in the gym
• Kristina getting to see one of her kids play basketball.  I know that she is a great inspiration to her student who, like Kristina, is the tall girl and really needs a hero and a mentor.
• The encouragement of Kristina and Michelle to keep glogging.  They see the positive impact and  gently encourage.
• The Dallas Mavericks - 15 consecutive wins.  Go Mavs.
• The Great Gazoo.
• You.

h.h.

Procrastination

Learning to make complicated things simple.  That's the key to ending procrastination.  Here goes:

• Waking up early, well rested, eager to go to the gym.
• Having time to take care of Kristina.  Caring for her needs during this time is the best way I know to show her how much I care.
• A good workout without killing myself.
  
• Our first onesie (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onesie ), compliments of Michelle.
• The Secret on DVD also compliments of Michelle.
  
• Being caught up on work for the weekend.
• Working remote Tuesday and Thursday.
• Not racing this weekend and being ok with it.
• Getting a great massage during "business hours" because I am the boss!
• The affect my improved attitude is having in my business relationships.
• New clients.
• New and interesting web development junk that's too nerdy to glog but is going to be really cool to code.
• Finally getting Emilio to blog and inspiring him to apply his knack for finding stuff on the internets to www.EdZachary.com
• Notes from Michelle about the glog effect.  Keep it going.
• You.
• The Great Gazoo

hh

Time Stands Still

As my Friday night software release rolled to Saturday, I thought I was in the clear once I got to bed around 1 AM. Then a call @ 3:49 AM turned into 8 more conference calls and 2 more emergency releases: aka Hot Fixes. By 10 PM Saturday, all was calm but there was no way I wanted to look at my computer another second. Saturday was the longest day in quite some time. I had to unplug. I made private notes of gratitude the remainder of the weekend. Today, I am catching with the following points of gratitude:

• Letting the big secret out of the bag and finally realizing that its not about me and the way I want to tell it. It's about Kristina and what she's "cooking."
• Working remotely. Being in Waco with my parents, there was no way I was driving back to Dallas at 3:49am to work.
• That my mother has high-speed Internet.
• Espresso, coffee, alka-seltzer.
• The nice little snacks my mom and Kristina made for me to keep me going.
• A client who clearly sees that the problem with the whole process was with the test team (or lack thereof) and not with the developer.
• Being able to unplug.
• Teaching Kaylin to play Red Light - Green Light. Watching her squirm as "the monster comes to get" her. She'd curl up in a ball, but still hold up the red and green lights until I made it; squealing each slow step.
• The new bond between my mom and K.
• Doug's repetitious excitement.
• Riding 40 miles in 2 hours, 19 minutes. Time includes stopping for directions and 6 phone calls.
• A safe ride home. Traffic was crazy thick around Hillsboro..
• Flopping around in bed watching the Oscars. It's always good to be home.

H.H.

The weekend is here, so what!

It's funny, but I realized this morning that I don't really care that it's the weekend. Sure, there are things I have planned this weekend with great anticipation, but I haven't been waiting for Friday since Monday. Actually, that's number 1 on my list. Today I am grateful for:

• Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday all feeling like Friday.
• A check + smiley face on Kristina's visit to Dr. Spooner.
• Oranges.
• Michelle's gentle reminders to keep glogging and her example of action. I am very proud that she and Craig are going to be slumlords!
• Great weather all week. The wheels have been tugging hard and I have had a break in the action at work which allows me to take advantage of the beautiful weather.
• A phone call from Emilio. It's a high complement when a friend picks you to vent their problems. No matter if the problems are work, home, or personal. Fortunately, these were work problems and I think I was able to help.
• 238 Watts for 1 hour -> My apparent recovery ride pace (70 - 75% Max HR)
  Watching the Mavericks while laying in bed with Kristina. The 32 LCD was a good choice. Not all materialism is bad.:)
• Getting the all systems go on the NPI release at work.
• You.

H.H.

A simple experiment

Recently, I unwhittingly performed my own little guilt experiment. In retrospect the accidental experiment has really helped me to understand what a heavy emotional draw that even a little guilt imparts. I've been glogging for a few weeks now, but after about 10 days, I went for a stretch with no entries. About 3 days. In that short period of time, my attitude did a 180 and reverted back to my old, impatient, cyncical way. The effect that glogging has is phenominal. Conversely, the magnitude of the impact of life without gratitude is astounding.

Back on track with my glogging now, I understand that my anger was due to guilt. I knew that stopping for just 3 minutes every day to give thanks for the blessings of the days is what helps me take what I want from that day and leave the rest behind. Not doing so was making me angry. I felt that there was no direction, no control, and nothing worthy of gratitude. Three short days. Imagine how your friends and family are affected when you fall off your track. Now imagine how the joy, over which you seize control through gratitude, must be sorely missed for those who do not know how to take control.

I can't say that all guilt is due to a lack of gratitude. However, this simple experiment helped me to understand the devastating impact of guilt itself. Fortunately, I knew that the way to reverse this guilt was to resume glogging. Whenever I feel guilty I recall the adage: "guilt is anger turned inward." Some words of wisdom are difficult to understand without the experience.

Can you smell that?

Set things in motion... action action action. Today I am grateful for:

• Prospect of adding a new client.
• Getting all scheduled work done before 9 AM!
• Cashing out at 2pm to go ride.
• Showing up at Kristina's work in my spandex and having her tell her teacher buddies that it's like walking out to a teen movie with me waiting outside and leaning up against her car.
• Kristina telling me I am her ideal man. (except I don't play guitar).
• Kristina asking me deeper questions about the glog and having the opportunity to tell her the reward of gratitude.
• You.

H.H.

Sunny, 70+, Remote

Many things to be grateful for, let's get started:

• A good conversation with my old college bud Josh.  He set me straight on some ideas about knowing gender.  I like the idea of the surprise.  Kristina and I will surely have much fun debating the pros and cons.
• Awesome weather.  Sunny, slight breeze (some gusts).  Perfect for a nice little 35 mile spin.
• Having the windows open in February will others have snow!
• My laptop drive died last night.  Normally that would be bad, but I was able to get a new drive and recover 100% of the data in record time.
• The first grilling time of the year.  I grilled up chicken and beef.
• Working remote.
• Liege Waffles (check my block at www.chrisbeckworth.com)
• The Tour of California.  Nice to have an option to American Idol!
• Michelle continuing to glog me even when I lose my steam.

H.H.

Time Off

ately, I've felt a lot of steam lost. Can't seem to find the magic and the joy. I'll try to get going again by working through some of the things I have to be grateful for...

• Blowing a gasket for no apparent reason and still being loved. Sometimes I just have to go a little crazy yo!
• Good bike riding weather early in the season.
• Finally finding some nice neighborhoods to move to - if only there were houses in my price range. Bitter sweet. However, now I have some attainable goals.
• My new polo house pants. Kristina knows me better than I do.
• Eating copious amounts of food and not gaining a single pound.
• Finding some mountain bike shoes on sale at REI for $30! Now... if I only had a mountain bike... they'll make great spin shoes.
• RICE and Contrast Therapy.
• trulia.com, gmail, and other tools on the Internets.
• Scott finding some serious success with Ingnite, Inc; his new business.

H.H.

Get Your Heart On

Alright... woo!  Happy Valentine's Day.  St. Valentine: the patron saint of greeting cards.  We love you, we love you not.  Plenty of gratitude.  Wanna hear about it?  Here goes:

• Lunch with a grumpy old college friend.  Better him than me.
• Tomorrow feeling like it's Friday and it's only Thursday; I must have accomplished much this week.
• Sweet gifts from Kristina.  She can be very thoughtful when she wants.  Luckily, I'm the one for whom she always wants to be thoughtful.
• Finding a new route home through the construction.
• A job that let's me sleep late when I stay up late.
• Solving the EIM Asset duplication problem.
• Finding the right card for Kristina.
• Leftovers.
• More candy, chocolates, and funny presents from Kristina's diverse classroom.  The best gifts are usually the worst because you know that the kid picked it out... or should I say the worst is the best?  You get the idea.  A metal rose.  Sure, it total junk, but the little nerdy boy loved giving it to Kristina.  That's what's really the best.  The Harry & David Moose Tracks was pretty darn good, too!
• The cleaning power of bleach.
• Sleep.
• You

Happy Valentines Day.

I think you'll find this funny

Well? Did you? Some days are productive some days you just get hung on the same problem all day. I think this is true for all walks, but especially prevelant in software. As long as you fix it and don't have to face it the next day, it's a win. All in, I'm still grateful for:

• Winning at the end of the day - glad I can look at new code tomorrow
• Getting the "glog" term in play.
• Blogger Timestamps.
• Stephen Colbert - that guy is a genius. I'm going to start the Colbert Party some day.
• Little things at work that don't bug me any more.
• Not having much to say.
• You.

H.H.

Can a day be busy and restful?

Yes.  Still recovering from pushing it a little too hard on the bike and in the gym, I feel like avoided what everyone else seems to have.  Today was a busy day at work, but much was accomplished.  I have only 3 major items on my plate.  That's a good feeling.  Mondays seem to be all about work, but today seemed to be more about completion of outstanding tasks, requests for help from friends and colleagues and finally getting a handle on my work to dos - an important 1st step in clearing out the clutter.  Today I am grateful for:

• Kristina's expectant email reminding me to get my glog up and post!
  
• The accolades for my new "thoughts on glogging" I received for my "Glog is like Photos" post.
• Closing all my HEAT Tickets.
• Responding to all outstanding email requests for information, help, etc.
• Having time to help my recruiter friend Stephynie get her kid setup with a blog so they can post to their family back home on the east coast.
• Being able to close out the last minute email request that came in right before I pressed CTRL+ALT+DEL to skip out early - better than having to look at in the morning.
• A quick conversation with an old college friend that lives here in Dallas.  He's my big brother from fraternity days.  We're going to catch up over lunch on Wednesday.
• An easy tomorrow since I got so much work done today - hopefully some time to go to the gym and maybe get a run in before work.
• Helping Michelle set up her glog at glog.jonesthompson.com.  Hearing how I am one of 5 people that have been infected by her light and that makes me feel oddly connected to people I don't know in a weird, liberal, "woo-woo" sort of way that makes me laugh.
• You.

H.H.

Gratitude is a Snapshot

Thinking about how a gratitude journal affects one's outlook or reality brings to mind other peoples' vacation photographs. Think of the last time you visited friends and they showed you their photos from their last vacation. Every photo was of some beautiful place, perhaps nearby or far away, with everyone smiling and enjoying the moment. Their entire trip summed up with snapshots of laughter, adventure, exquisite cuisine. If you've never been to that particular vacation spot you left wanting to plan a trip soon.

Now, think about your last vacation. Was it really all photo album of smiles or was it annoying having to tip every person from the airport baggage handler to the hotel bellhop? Was fun instantly around every corner or just another 2 hour wait for 30 seconds of "thrills and excitement?" Do the photos of your last vacation remind you of the highlights you had and see in the images or do you remember the lowpoints and arguments?

Forty, ten, or even perhaps three short years from now, you'll forget the lowpoints and simply cherish the pleasant memories as if they were other people's snapshots. That reality molding phenomenom that occurs with vacation photos, to me, is the very essence of gratitude journalling. However, the power of the glog is that it is a daily shaping of your reality; instantly gratifying the moment you put it to paper (or post it to your glog ;-). Remember the highs and let go of the lows.

True, not every moment is a high; just as not every second of your last vacation margaritas and beautiful sunsets. Yes, there are going to be some $100 cab rides to go 2 miles up the road. Learn from that mistake, but don't make that the experience. The experience is the breath-taking vista from your hotel room when you finally arrive. The reality: the first timed photograph on the balcony where your wife is ready for the catwalk and you are a deer in headlights hurrying to make it in the shot. What a laugh, what a memory, be grateful in that moment.

Day 7 - La Semana Primera...

OK.  This brings to a close the first week of my glog.  I may officially be out of the numbering business.  However, I am beginning to see the purpose behind taking stock of things daily.  I can't think of a better way to journal things.  Today, I am grateful for:

• The positive affect that gratitude is having in my outlook on my relationships, life, and objectives.
• Kristina for being interested in my progress and supportive of my efforts.  Her opinion means everything to me.
• Michelle for insisting I stay the course and ensuring me that the light at the end of the tunnel is closer today than it was yesterday.
• A day off the bike so the muscles have to have a chance to rest.
• Having time to tinker with my Pista and getting the saddle perfect the first try.
• Kristina laughing at me trying to do track stands in the doorway of our bedroom.
• CBS Sunday Morning.  What a great show.  More importantly Tivo - not every segment of Sunday morning is great.
• Dallas Mavericks and Brandon & Stephanie.  Catching up with our friends and learning they are looking in the same neighborhoods for a new home is good news.
• Having some free time to work on www.Beckworth.org 
• You.

H.H.

6, Seis, VI, you get the idea...

The great thing about the weekend is that it's your time.  Do with it as you please.  Albeit the weather we like spring during the week and is now once again full on winter, it's one of 52 weekends of the year.  Enjoy it regardless of the weather.  Today, I am grateful for:

• The cold.  It makes the challenge of catching the RBM group even more fun.  Couple that with the fact that the road construction detour caught me by total surprise, it was an all out race to catch the group.  I found two stragglers on Warren and decided maybe to take the last couple of miles easy.
• Not getting run over on the way home from RBM.  The humidity came in around 11 and the temp seemed to drop.  Starving and tired, I decided to make my hour trip home a 20 minute trip home.  But this mean about a 1k sprint down 121 to catch a residential street to take me home.  Glad to have a little left for the sprint.
• The Shimano 540s that made the 1k sprint doable.  Thanks again Danny.
• Food. Food. Food.  I made a batch of apple cinnamon and then blueberry pancakes.  Nearly ate them all - and some eggs.  Ride to eat;  eat to ride.
• Working out with Kristina.  After some food and a shower, I was ready to accompany K to gym.  I love how it makes us feel when we work out together; plus it's funny to watch the gym rats watching her at how tough she is and how hot she looks not trying to look hot!
  
• Yeah, more food.  I ordered up two plates at LaMadelline's: Omelette and a Coute Monsieur.  I ate it all.
• A relaxing night at home.  Not every Saturday night has to be dress-up and go out.
• The magic of contrast therapy - the legs definitely needed it!
• You.

H.H.

Day Five

Today was a quiet day at work; many people out sick.  Seems there is something all around.  The CDC, seriously, says that Collin and Tarrant Counties (that's here in my neck of the woods) are the most impacted by the flu this year.  Several schools have closed throughout the week due to lack of students.  Hence, albeit some are not as fortunate, the top of the list is easy. Today, I am grateful for:

• Not getting the flu.  Even though Kristina was not as fortunate, it seems may near daily regimin of Emergen'C, Amino Vital, GNC Gel Multi, water, and exercise are doing the trick.  I like to tell people I am impervious to your "human diseases."  Also, I've been eating more dirt; i.e. caring less about germs.  I'm not saying I eat rat droppings or anything absurd like that, I just don't think everyone and everything has to be operating room sterile.
• I quiet day at work.
• Testing on my NPI release for my software is successful and ahead of schedule.
• Politics at work is at an all time low.
• Kristina really liked the delicious steak and fresh, oven-baked fries I made for her.
• I had time to get an hour on the bike (indoors).
• The kona coffee I made this AM was awesome, but bloody strong. 
  
• Being smart enough to call it an early night so I can ride in the AM.
• You.

H.H.

Day 4... Seeing the Light

Today is a day to be grateful for thing big and small. Let's get down to it. Today I am grateful for:

• Rita House. Hands down (no pun) best massage. Wish I'd known about her all 4 years here in The Colony. I look forward to another session with her in the near future and hope I can refer much business her way.
• Kristina telling me she enjoys reading my glog every day.
• Michelle giving me nearly 4 hours tonight to teach me what the glog really is about and how I directly affect what comes into my life by asking for it. I could nearly write a book on what I learned tonight.
  
• Scott thanking me for setting up his blog and helping him get started. I also appreciated him reviewing my blogs and offering his compliments.
• Being challenged to understand the payoff.
• The spirit clearing power to choose.
  
• The quick chat with my Mom.
• Working Remotely
• A good nights sleep.
• The traffic on my blogs is picking up.
  
• Finally figuring out why my hips are so tight and learning new stretches.
• Tomorrow is Friday and the weekend looks good.
• You.

H.H.

Some days.... not so much

Ah, day three must be the slow day; perhaps, for me the sarcastic day. Rough as it was, there are still some highlights. It was beautiful outside, but I only saw it through a window - might as well have rained. Nonethelesss I am grateful for:

• Kristina reading my glog and appreciating what I am trying to do even though neither of us has totally figured out why. Her support is a treasure.
• Even though it was the best day so far this year to ride for 5 hours, I am glad to have clients and work. Money is nice, too.
• Kristina finally seems to be over her cold, that's nice - kleenex was starting to get expensive.
• The tricked out Saleen Ford Focus that went the same way home as I did and had me laughing from PGBT to Spring Creek. Seriously, who puts a Saleen package on a Ford Focus? It was awesome.
• The gift of giving: I can't wait for Lea Andrah to get the chopping block and Danny to get the bottle of Pappy Van Winkle I sent as thanks for their hospitality.
• Meeting Rita of "Massage by Rita" She was kind enough to work out the kinks on the spot for 5 minutes until her next client arrived. I have an hour with her tomorrow.
• Thievery Corporation helping me get through 2 sets of very sweaty Power Intervals.
• My new subscription to VeloNews. I have no idea who sent it but it's an awesome gift. I expect Danny sent it, but I can be sure.
• That tomorrow is another day.
• You.

H.H.

Day Two...

I guess I'll keep count as long as it takes to make a habit of this.  What's the rule? 3 weeks to make a habit and 3 days to break; except for smoking and heroin.  Don't know about the latter, but that sounds about right.  Today, I am grateful for:

• Special firsts with Kristina
  
• Surprise visits and impromptu dinner with in-laws.  I'm glad they want to be involved with me and Kristina.
• A sweet niece and a rambunctious nephew - both a blast to be with.
• My good friend Emilio.  The mindless banter, the outlandish humour, and much needed advice.
• Finally getting the invoices off to clients; having clients that don't mind my late invoices!
• 69 degress outside with only a 7mph wind!
  
• 158 BPM!!!
• My big brother's kudos.  No matter how old I get or trivial the item, big brother's opinion still counts.
• Being able to work remotely.
• A day filled with events that are very easy to understand and digest.
• Tivo: Daily Show and Colbert Report are waiting.

H.H.

First Timer

This is my first ever attempt at a gratitude journal. I don't think there's a wrong way to do it. Let's see how it goes. I have some catching up to do. Today I am grateful for:

• Kristina's patience. She's been sick all week but did not complain when I wanted to watch the Super Bowl with friends.
• My good friend Michelle. She inspired me to do this. Not many can inspire in others a desire to grow, personally.
• Little surprises and big anticipation.
• Having the time, weather, and health to ride for 4 hours yesterday.
• Having a good friend to ride with for those 4 hours. Bonking the last mile would have been miserable without some company.
• Free Specialized sunglasses, water bottles, and the new Shimano wheels that roll way faster and softer than my Bontregers.
• Being able to email blog posts.
• Doppio Espressos. Bottled water.
• Funny stories about other peoples' kids and the photos to back them up.
• You

Health and Happiness